![IMG_20260709_160849.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdjQxMauaWhf7aZKsCBUUx44DkBxWM6WM3MqGszAWxJ5o/IMG_20260709_160849.jpg) Greetings Steemit family! 👋 I have not posted in two weeks. Not because nothing has been happening. But because everything happening has been hard to put into words. Let me try anyway.

The Season Nobody Prepares You For

| |- I have signed out. Exams are done. FYB Week is a memory. The university chapter is closed. And yet I do not feel free. I feel like I am standing in a corridor between two rooms, one I have just left and one I have not yet entered, and the corridor is quieter than I expected. This is the in-between. The gap between graduation and whatever comes next. NYSC has not started. A stable income does not exist yet. The structure that university gave me, wake up, go to lectures, submit work, sit exams, that structure is gone. And without it I am realizing how much I depended on it without knowing.

What My Days Actually Look Like

| |- I wake up. I brush. I am mostly indoors. Some days I am seriously productive, deep in my final project which I am determined to finish completely before I move on to anything else. I am in chapter five right now. After that comes the table of contents, the abstract, the plagiarism test and binding. I can see the end of it. That part feels good. But other days, too many days, I feel like every second I am not doing something I planned to do I am getting distracted by something irrelevant. And the distraction is not even enjoyable. It is just filling time. It is scrolling when I should be reading. It is putting off what I know matters. It feels like I am slowly losing control of my own day. And that feeling scares me more than anything external right now.

What I Think About Most

| |- I think about this phase constantly. Not in a panicked way, but in a very deliberate way. I genuinely believe that whatever I do in this period, right now, between graduation and the next chapter, will determine the shape of the rest of my life. The habits I build now. The skills I invest in now. The discipline I either develop or fail to develop right now. That belief keeps me serious even on the days I am not as productive as I want to be. I have started watching Professor Messer's Security+ course on YouTube. Cybersecurity is a direction I want to move toward, specifically GRC, Governance Risk and Compliance, which connects directly to my Criminology background. Four videos in so far. Slower than I planned. But started. I am also looking for a side income. Something to keep me functioning while I build toward the bigger goals. Nothing locked down yet.

The Honest Truth About How This Feels

| |- It feels like I am in a dark silent room, screaming, but not hearing my own voice. That is the most accurate description I have. Not depression. Not hopelessness. Just the disorientation of a person who has spent years moving toward a finish line, crossed it, and now has to figure out on their own where the next one is. I need God in this season more than I have needed anything. Not in a religious performance kind of way. Just genuinely. I need clarity that does not come from scrolling or planning or talking. The kind that comes from somewhere quieter than all of that.

Why I Am Still Here

| |- I came back to Steemit tonight not because I had a great day to document. But because writing is one of the few things in this season that makes me feel like I am actually doing something real. Putting words on a page and having someone somewhere read them and feel something, that matters to me. Even when the rewards are small. Even when two weeks pass without a post. I am still here. Still figuring it out. Still moving, even when the movement feels slow. And I think that counts for something.